This is the result of a poor choice
The life of my son, Chase ended tragically because of the choices he made. Those choices included the choice to abuse drugs and alcohol, and to associate with certain groups of people. Chase was killed in a car wreck on May 29th, 2014. The driver of his car was a young lady who was 18 years old and had never had a driver’s license. Why would Chase allow her to drive his car in rush hour traffic? I can’t answer that question. I can only speculate. Maybe because he was impaired and she wasn’t? Maybe because they were both impaired, but she was less impaired than him? There could be many reasons. At any rate, it was a poor choice.
The young lady had three marijuana cigarettes in her purse. She was charged with a provisional DWI pending the outcome of the toxicology report. That toxicology report showed that she had THC in her bloodstream, but since there is no legal limit for marijuana in North Carolina, the crime lab only tested for the presence of THC, not the quantity.
Eight months after the wreck and only weeks before she was due for her first court appearance, the young lady who wrecked Chase’s car made a horrible choice. She chose to end her own life. She poured gasoline on the floor of her apartment, stood in the middle of the puddle of gasoline, and ignited it. She burned herself to death! Twelve families were displaced in that apartment complex as a result of the fire that occurred. Were those families affected by her choice? You bet! Was her mother affected by her choices? I’ve gotten to know her and yes, her daughter’s choices caused her mother pain on a scale you can not imagine. She loves her daughter!
Our choices determine where we will end up in life. Sometimes the results of our choices show up almost immediately. Other times they show up years down the road. Make no mistake, however, that your life will be affected by the choices you make.
What I want you to understand is how much other people’s lives can be affected by the choices you make, both in a positive and in a negative way. I’ve often heard it said that substance abuse only hurts the person who is using drugs or alcohol. So if you want to hurt yourself, that’s your choice and it shouldn’t matter, right? I want to show you in this article how wrong that idea is.
When my wife and I first learned that Chase was using drugs, we became very worried. We became even more worried when we saw some of the people he had chosen to associate with. My wife became so 
stressed that she developed physical symptoms. She had to see a neurologist because she developed involuntary leg jerks. Some of the best doctors, including those at Duke University Medical Center, performed every test they could think of to try and discover what was causing her problems. In the end it turned out to be stress. We lived almost in constant fear that something bad was going to happen to Chase. I tried to fight off those feelings and remain positive, but it was a gut-wrenching feeling that gnawed at me every day.
When Chase died in the wreck, we had a visitation service, followed by a memorial service, and graveside service for him. Hundreds of people attended Chase’s visitation service at the funeral home. The line went out the front door of the building into the parking lot. Some people left because they couldn’t wait that long. Dozens of young people who knew Chase, some whom I had met and some whom I had not met, stood in line to view Chase’s body and to offer their condolences to me and my wife. Many of these young people, both male and female, approached me with red faces and tears streaming down their cheeks. They melted into my arms and wept openly. Do you think the choices Chase made had an impact on them? Certainly they did.
When God created you, he broke the mold. Out of all the billions of people who have ever lived no two have ever been exactly the same. Even identical twins have slight differences in appearance, and often have personalities that are vastly different from each other. You have a unique set of talents, skills, abilities, and looks that can be used to reach others. There is someone out there who needs YOU! If you make poor choices that person may never get to know you or benefit from your life.
If you choose to abuse drugs and alcohol, you will find it difficult if not impossible to remain gainfully employed. Thus, you will be robbing the world of your talents. When you find your passion and are able to make money through it, you will be blessed with enough income to not only take care of yourself, but to also help others. How can you help other people if you can’t even take care of yourself? Not only that, but people who abuse drugs and alcohol, usually become a financial and emotional burden on others. Substance abuse is SELFISH!
Now before you think I’m unfairly judging addicts, please hear me out. I’m a Christian, and according to scripture ALL people have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That includes me! So who am I to unfairly judge you? I know that if you’re struggling with addiction of any kind, it is likely a result of your efforts to mask emotional pain. Maybe you’re angry because your father abandoned you as a child. That happens way too often today! Maybe you were abused as a child. Perhaps poor choices you made in the past have gotten you into a financial mess, or caused your spouse to leave you. Maybe you don’t believe you’re capable of being successful, so you’re resigned to just getting by. I don’t know what you’re struggling with, but I know people often abuse drugs and alcohol to help them temporarily cope with emotional pain.
That emotional pain is still there when you come down from your high or sober up and now your choice to abuse drugs or alcohol has only made matters worse. If you’re ever going to end this downward spiral, you’re going to have to get professional help. You will have to stop using drugs or alcohol to mask the pain and deal with it. You will have to learn how to cope without the substance abuse. The good news is that you CAN do it! It will also take some divine intervention. This is not something you will be able to do entirely under your own power. If you’ve never used drugs or alcohol, make a wise choice now and decide to never go down that road! I promise you it’s a dead end.
When you make wise choices in life, you will be blessed in so many ways. You can discover your passion and your calling. You can use the gifts you have been given to be a blessing to others. Sometimes the compensation you receive for this will be monetary. Other times you receive the personal satisfaction of knowing that you were able to use something God blessed you with to be a blessing to others. The ultimate success in life is to be able to use your talents and your passion to bless others.
Please make wise choices! EVERY choice you make affects other people. Choose to have a good life and to make a positive, lasting impact.
If you would like to learn more about Chase’s life and choices, please order a copy of the book I’ve written about him. I love my son, Chase, as much now as I ever did. I miss him, but I know I will see him again. I hope and pray his story will help others avoid making some of the same self-destructive choices he did.
Click Here to Order Your Copy of “A Life Half Lived” from Amazon.com
$2.99 on Kindle and $9.95 for a paperback copy
