One thing I’ve learned from being around other parents whose children have died is that every parent wants to talk about their child. No parent wants their child forgotten. In fact, most parents, would talk with you for hours telling you every little detail about their child’s life if you would let them.
Some people are afraid to approach parents who have lost a child or to bring the child up in conversation for fear of upsetting the parent or perhaps saying the wrong thing. It’s much worse to remain silent. You don’t have to say much. Give the parent the opening to talk about their child to you. Be a good, active listener.
Yes, the parent may get emotional when you bring up their child who has recently passed away, but most will be happy you are thinking about them. This is another reason why writing the book about Chase was so important to me. It allowed me to tell everyone who reads the book who Chase was. I was able to brag on his athleticism, like the proud dad that I am. I was able to tell everyone about his interesting and endearing personality, and his creativity.
If you have a friend or family member who has had a child die, let them know you want to hear stories about their child. This keeps their memory alive.
Thank you for following me on Twitter. Your ability to share your story is so encouraging. My cousin lost her 22 yo daughter (her only child) to suicide thirteen months ago. What you have written here is so helpful for those of us who have not lost a child.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. And so encouraged by the grace which God has given you to help others learn from your loss. May God use your book in ways beyond imagining!
~Joyce
Thank you for your kind words, Joyce.
I’m sorry for your cousin’s loss. It must be terrible to lose a child to suicide, but the fact that she was her only child only compounds the loss. We have another son who is doing well and that definitely helps.
Thank you for sharing Chase, I lost my daughter 30 days after you lost Chase, with a lot of the same reasons. She left two young sons behind. Losing a child is the most difficult to process, Amanda would be 31 this year. Thank you again.
Hi Suzy,
I’m sorry I missed your comment. I just noticed it today. You are right. Losing a child is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. On the bright side, you have two grandsons to cherish and who can remind you of the good times you shared with your daughter.